We can recognize our patterns by how fidgety we become, just waiting for them to pause so we can speak and how we are already “know” what they are gonna say before they say another word. When we act like this we have thrown our opportunity for freedom right out the window and war has been declared.
Instead, we can center ourselves in the Heart: the space between our breaths, our thoughts, our own heart beats. In the Heart, we can listen, really listen, for the truth our beloved is saying. In the Heart, we can feel our only choice arising- being love or being right. In the Heart, we know that the only one we are here to change is our own self.